Aloha and good morning to all fellow truth seekers. Today I am moved to share with you a post written not by me, but by Daniel Brenton, whose blog “High Oddness: The Universe According to Daniel Brenton”
has me in stitches. Delightfully thought-provoking, Daniel’s universe
also contains a wit and wisdom that will lighten your day. And we all
need a little lightening these days, don’t we? 
Re-posted in its entirety with permission from the author. To read the original post, go to:
Round Files #003: We Know Why the Aliens Really Don’t Land
By Daniel Brenton
To
my surprise, I have developed a level of notoriety in the UFO community
as a relatively level-headed, reasonably intelligent “truthseeker,” and
with this, a demonstrated willingness to use my weblogs as a place to
disseminate uncomfortable revelations about government secrecy
surrounding the UFO phenomenon.
This
is of course only what anyone who wishes to think of him- or herself as
a true American patriot is obliged to do. Anything less would be
morally shameful, and rather than hiding under the covers in a fetal
position and sucking my thumb for an extended period, I have chosen to
rise above my undercover thumbsucking peers.
A
few weeks ago I was contacted by a deeply sincere individual with the
unfortunate name of John Hordure, who is the director of the League for
Unified Non-cooperation with Exopolitical Enterprises (LUNEE).
LUNEE
a small but fierce group of individualists working at the highest level
of the American government, dedicated to “outing” the collaboration of
not just our nation but several other nations with an extraterrestrial
alliance that seeks to keep its presence hidden for what was, until
now, an equally secret agenda.
Here then is a statement from John Hordure, revealing the true reason for UFO secrecy for the last 52 years. – Daniel
•
Ladies and gentlemen:
Once
again with the mass sightings of Unidentified Flying Objects over
Stephensville, Texas — just as with the O’Hare sighting of November of
2006, and the Phoenix Lights sightings of eleven years ago, large
numbers of credible witnesses have come forward with stories of
something of undeniable significance, and once again official sources
at all levels brush the event aside as if it were of no significance.
It
would be very easy to get caught up in the outrage against the apparent
policies of denial on all government fronts, and the unofficial,
“gentleman’s agreement” of ridicule conducted by the media outlets and
any other group or individual in the public and private sectors who
consciously seeks to support the status quo for their own interests.
But I urge you to not let this distract you from a much more important issue.
There is the age-old question everyone who has spent even the smallest amount of time thinking about the subject: Why don’t they just land on the White House lawn?
I am disseminating this statement to make you aware that we have learned the true reason as to why the aliens really don’t land, and it is my obligation to tell you.
Consider,
every time these visitors deliberately show themselves to Earthly
witnesses, the witnesses either refuse to believe it, or any attention
focused on their event becomes a dismissal or an open attack of
ridicule.
It has come to our attention that these responses to extraterrestrial visits are the funniest thing in our region of the galaxy.
Remember,
we have been broadcasting radio signals, not just to audiences on
Earth, but as well into space for a little over one hundred years, and
likewise have been broadcasting television programming for nearly sixty
years. Because of this, technological societies in nearby interstellar
space know everything they need to know about us.
The
actual reason they don’t reveal themselves to us because they don’t
take us seriously and consider us vastly inferior to them.
Candidly, they feel we are a species of brain-damaged idiots.
Shortly
after Kenneth Arnold’s sighting in June of 1947, the media broadcasts
in the aftermath, fed by various news organizations and official
government statements, started characterizing the appearance of
extraterrestrial visitors as the delusional imaginings of crackpots,
and began their now familiar pattern of treating the subject with
ridicule, contempt, and mocking humor.
The extraterrestrial races intercepting these signals thought these reactions were simply hysterical.
It
has been noted by a number of UFO researchers that the level of
visitations and sightings, as projected by statistical analysis of the
available data, points to as much as hundreds of UFO events daily
world-wide. This has always seemed nonsensical to the research
community, but becomes perfectly reasonable once the reason for them
was understood.
These are tourists.
This is why they crash so often. They have bad drivers, too.
In
the Earth year of 1949, the Galactic Broadcasting Company (the largest
intragalactic media network in the Milky Way) assembled their
equivalent of home videos taken by UFO visitors to Earth for a
broadcast program called (to translate it loosely) The Galaxy’s Funniest Videos
(or TGFV for short). It was a smash hit from its very first episode,
and is still going strong, making it the longest running program in
intragalactic network history.
Since
its beginning the show has featured the equivalent of home videos made
by extraterrestrial visitors, and has included Earth news broadcasts
and media coverage of the UFO phenomenon as part of its content.
TGFV
offers what is considered by galactic standards lavish prizes for the
best submitted “video” of each installment of the show, and best one
for each broadcast season. Because of this program’s popularity,
extraterrestrial visitors have, for decades, been caught in a game of
upstaging each other in creating increasingly bizarre events to record
and submit. The more bizarre, nonsensical, or paradoxical the event
naturally tends to produce a greater comic effect on the hapless human
witnesses.
A
long standing favorite was in fact the event staged around a Joe
Simonton in Wisconsin back in 1961. In this event, a flying saucer
landed on his property and three human-looking pilots wearing
turtleneck sweaters asked for a container they had brought to be filled
with water. The punchline of this video was where the pilots gave a
befuddled Mr. Simonton three small, crispy pancakes in return. In fact,
a stylized image of Mr. Simonton’s puzzled expression at that moment
became an icon representing monumental stupidity, which was in popular
use for decades.
Because of the competitive nature of the submissions, the humor has become much more aggressive since this time.
Early
on, the Galactic Broadcasting Company (GBC for short) recognized that
if the true nature of alien visitations became general knowledge by the
peoples of Earth, then the events that extraterrestrial tourists stage
for submission to TGFV would no longer produce as humorous a reaction
for their audience. The show would fall in the ratings, get canceled,
and the network would lose their “cash cow.”
Here is where the the conspiracy comes in.
An
offer was made in 1952 by the board of the GBC via conventional radio
to the heads of the governments of the United States, the Soviet Union,
the United Kingdom, China, Japan, and Australia. This agreement was in
fact signed by Dwight Eisenhower, acting on behalf of the participating
nations, on August of 1954 at Holloman Air Force Base. A small addendum
was also signed by Eisenhower, in February of 1955, at Holloman.
The
substance of this agreement is that, in exchange for official denial of
UFOs on the part of each country’s government by the agencies under its
authority, the GBC would provide 50 receivers and broadcast signal to
the leaders of that participating national government.
Yes, you read that right.
The
multi-government UFO conspiracy is actually an agreement for the most
privileged leaders and power brokers of each nation to get the interstellar equivalent of cable television.
What proof do I have of these provocative allegations?
I
have a copy of the contract Eisenhower signed in 1954, and we are
making every effort to provide this on our website as soon as possible.
It is a long document — about 6500 pages — and in places uses some
alien words that don’t translate well into English. But we hopefully
will have this for you shortly.
Additionally,
I have seem some of this programming personally. There are no words to
convey what an intense, multi-dimensional experience this programming
is. There is no equivalent experience in the human realm. It is, if you
will forgive the comparison, like trying to explain sex to someone who
has never experienced it.
Experiencing these programs is in fact life-altering, and
potentially life-threatening. With the assistance of a number of
high-placed individuals sympathetic to our cause I was able to
experience this myself. In the immediate aftermath I went through four
months of treatment for withdrawal symptoms after watching twenty-seven
and a half minutes of their equivalent of the Playboy Channel.
We
have learned there is an above-top-secret human twelve-step group for
fellow victims of this addiction, but it has a very low success rate.
We
have also learned that those who are in denial of the addictive power
of just this programming have formed a international ritual sex cult at
the highest levels of society. Though Stanley Kubrick did not know how
this group came into existence, this is in fact what his movie Eyes Wide Shut was based upon.
As
you will see in the contract when we are able to make it available that
part of the secrecy agreement included a concession of 4000 tons of
strawberry ice cream annually. This is an interesting story in itself,
but space precludes me from going into it here.
Most people presented with the facts I have related to you today think I am relating some kind of twisted joke.
I assure you, I am not joking.
The truth is so bizarre it practically guarantees it’s own secrecy. Who would possibly believe it?
The
almost diabolical cleverness on the part of the GBC in creating this
secrecy is not lost on those of us in the LUNEE organization.
I,
for one, am indignant. Because of this conspiracy, we are being
humiliated in the eyes of the interstellar community. We are continuing
to be made the laughing stock of the Milky Way for the sake of
exploitative commercial interests. And to add insult to injury, not
just the American government, but the governments of several major
powers in the world are aiding and abbetting this effort.
The
sheer arrogance demonstrated by the acts of this extraterrestrial
corporation is simply galling, and the fact our leaders sought to
cooperate with this and continue to do so to this day shows a criminal level of contempt toward the human species.
Please
join us in exposing this heinous secret and those who support it, so
that we might put this as a race behind us, and begin taking the
journey to be able to hold our heads high in the greater galactic
community.
Please visit our website at www.lunee.org for more information on how you can help.